Horror-scopes

by Molly Dolman, Staff Writer

Halloween Horror-scopes

Aries– You’ve always thought trick-or-treating was for babies, but this year you’re really feeling it. Whether this is spurred on by the fact that your mom just told you she won’t be buying you candy this year or the fact that your best friend has a super awesome twin costume idea going, get out there and have some fun! I see overfilled “take one only” bowls in your future.

Taurus – Your practicality is telling you to stay home and do your homework this Halloween, but Halloween only falls on a Saturday so often (it won’t happen again for another 5 years to be precise), so take advantage and have some fun while you can!

Gemini – Your reckless and playful nature could get you into trouble this year, gemini. Just please, stay away from the toilet paper.

Cancer – Nothing I say matters because you are going to fall victim to flesh-eating zombies. I’m sorry. There’s nothing I can do.

Leo – Even though you generally love being in the limelight (usually with good reason), you might not want to be too out-there this year (Just a warning, that new zombie dance move you’ve been working on – not as slick as you think).

Virgo – Even though you are often a skeptic, do not underestimate those threats of a sticky Halloween prank from your friends and family. Trust me.

Libra – Your usual indecisiveness may cause you some trouble this halloween, Libra; you may be faced with two compelling offers Halloween night – just make sure you choose the option that will get you the most candy.

Scorpio – Although your sometimes domineering and confident personality may lead you to often get things done your way, take the time to listen to your friends’ ideas this year; they may be onto something with their “ popular insurance icons” group costume idea (C’mon you know you’ve always wanted to be Jake from State Farm)

Sagittarius– Being the greatest Zodiac sign of them all (proven fact), your Halloween will be nothing but prank-filled, candy-coma, best-costume-winning goodness. Just try not to have too much fun.

Capricorn– Your unimaginative nature and your empty bank account may have you at a loss for a costume this year. Don’t miss out on all the fun because you couldn’t put together a costume! Pinterest is your friend.

Aquarius– You may have a tendency to get off-track, but if you do your chores this week your parents might consider letting you go to your friend’s awesome costume party instead of that boring annual family party. I’d start mopping if I were you.

Pisces – You know that awesome Donald Trump costume you’ve been imagining for the last month? Roll with it.

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